Most of the time when I talk to people about how much time they spend with God they immediately start talking to me about reading their Bible. They say things like, "I know I need to read my Bible more, but I just can't find the time." Or they might say, "I know I need to spend time with God, but I just fall asleep whenever I try to read the Bible."
More often than not their answer has much more to do with reading or studying the Bible, or some devotional book than it does with just being with God.
Before I continue I need to make one thing clear. I cherish the Bible, and it is vitally important that disciples of Jesus read and know it, but it is not God, and it is possible to have a robust prayer life without spending the majority of your time reading the Bible... I would say that it is even possible to have a deep and very real relationship with Jesus without the Bible (think of other countries where most people can't read, or where an entire village has only one Bible)!
Over the past few months I have fallen out of my habit of spending time daily in silence and solitude with our loving Abba. This is partly due to my kids waking up way too early these days, and then partly because I just let it slide... and that's ok to an extent. I really think God is totally alright with our seasonal rhythms and knows our lives way better than we think.
While I've stopped spending that time with God regularly, I have started reading the Bible instead.
It is easier to read the Bible than it is to spend 5, 10, 20 min in silence. It's easier to check it off a list and feel good about myself. It's easier to "get" something out of it. When I spend 20 min in silence, most of the time I don't feel like I get much from it at all, I even feel like I waisted that time sometimes...
But, I am finding myself missing that time with Abba like crazy. Like I said, reading the Bible is incredibly important, but I don't think it is sufficient as the only way we come before God. Honestly, sometimes I have found that I can use the Bible to distract me from what God is calling me into. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes reading the Bible keeps me from being honest and open before my loving creator who knows me and loves me more than I will ever know.
Maybe your personality and silence and solitude just don't mesh. That's great, the method isn't the point. Silence, solitude, meditation, whatever, they are just means to being with God, they are not the goal. My point is that there is a whole other level to be experienced with God besides just reading the Bible or some other devotional book. There is a very real relationship to be had with the entire trinity that is waiting. The Bible is important, but it's not part of the trinity, and it is a means to come to know and love God more, but it is not the goal.
So I pray that you join me in asking God to show us where we can be with him in the middle of our lives now. Maybe you can find time and are into the idea of silence, then do that (but don't beat yourself up if you can't turn your brain off and you keep getting distracted, the time you are spending there is a gift to God, trust he is very happy with it), maybe it is taking walks alone with God, maybe it's something else entirely. There are numerous ways to pray, but I really encourage you to begin to think about spending time intentionally just being with God. No Bible, no other book, no sermon or podcast playing on your iPod... just you and God, that kind of time is never waisted, even (maybe even mostly) when you don't "feel" like you are "getting" anything out of it.
Peace.
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