Full life.

I post/write a lot about Jesus, about God, and about my life trying to follow Jesus. I get that this might seem excessive to some, weird to others, it might seem like I'm bragging or trying to look super spiritual or something... but, at least most of the time, I just can't help it. The stuff I write about feels like if it doesn't come out... well, it's sort of like I feel as if I've stumbled on something incredible and to keep it to myself would be extremely selfish.

I believe that there is no life that comes close to the life that Jesus offers... I truly believe that true life is only found in following Jesus, and that it continually gets more true, and more full as it goes on.

Sometimes this feels wonderful, and sometimes it's incredibly painful... but when I get a break from it all, and Jesus gives me the gift of seeing my life how he sees it, it is truly beautiful.

God has given me gift after gift of faith, hope, and love. I, on my own, am none of these. I have very little faith, and tons of fear, I have very little hope, and tend to be rather pessimistic, and I am critical instead of being loving... but, of no strength of my own, God has truly begun to change some of this and foster transformation inside that I just can't keep to myself. 

Let me repeat this. I did not do this. I didn't read my bible for x amount of minutes every day, I didn't pray harder and longer, I didn't have a "quiet time" every day... I did try to do some of these, but I failed at any sort of discipline that I tried. Any true change that has occurred has been from God. I am weak, and he has let me see that, and he has become much stronger in my life as I have allowed myself to rest in my weakness instead of fighting to hide or overcome it.

So, I'm writing this just to encourage you to follow Jesus, and encourage you to stop beating yourself up with guilt, stop trying so hard to do what you think you have to do to be loved by God, and just start opening to him in your every day life, he is there waiting for you.

And if anyone is reading this that does not follow Jesus, I really hope you get a chance to meet him. Too often me and other Christians have done such a horrible job of representing him. I really pray that, at some point in your life, you get a chance to meet him and then make your decision, because he is truly lovely, and I can't imagine you would not be drawn to him.   

Peace.