Hidden wounds wound

I  am wounded, and there is a really good chance you are wounded as well. We live in a world where it is impossible to live life injury free. It's going to happen at some point, and then countless other times as well. That's just a part of life.

We are all wounded. 

But what I am discovering is how my wounds wound others. Especially the ones I keep hidden. The ones I want to forget about. The ones I have let fester and get infected and become a part of my unconscious life.

These wounds are probably responsible for the majority of the pain I cause those closest to me: my wife, my daughters, my closest friends, people I am with so often that I cannot always keep my mask on. At some point what is going on deep inside me is going to come out. Often this surprises even me.

I don't want to hurt anyone, but there are times I withdraw from my wife after saying something hurtful, I loose my temper with my girls, or I cut friends out of my life... why? There are so many times I sit and ask, "Why the hell did I just do that?!"

Hidden wounds are toxic. They continue to hurt us, and we then hurt others because of them. 

We all need healing. Complete and total healing... and through the Spirit we can experience just that.

Jesus said that he came to bring what is hidden into the light, to set us free, and to lead us into everlasting life. 

This is available to us now. We can experience healing now. We can taste everlasting life now.

But we have to open to it. We have to be willing to let Jesus both expose our hidden festering wounding wounds, and then let him heal them.

This sounds like a no brainer, but it can be a lot more difficult than it may seem. 

We have hidden these wounds for a reason. They are painful and we don't want to experience them. But the more we hide them, the more we end up perpetually experiencing them in other ways, and the more we inflict them on others.

Also, as crazy as this may seem, we may not REALLY want to kiss them goodby. We may be so accustomed to living hurting, that we can't comprehend what it would be like to live wound free. For me personally, some of my deepest wounds have become like a badge of honor, a part of my identity... and I find comfort in that, even while hating it.

Jesus wants to set us free. Jesus is waiting to walk us through total and complete healing through in Him, through the Spirit. He knows us completely, far better than we know ourselves, and he loves us far more than we love ourselves.

Even though it will most likely be painful, uncomfortable, and frightening at times, walking through our infected, festering, hidden wounds with Jesus is something we must be willing to do. We will not be alone in it. The Spirit is waiting to walk with us, guiding us, and holding our hearts as they begin to heal.

If this is something you want to open to, don't force it, just begin to ask God to expose old wounds you may have hidden, and bring healing. Express to him that you are ready to go through them with him... and then wait. Don't force this, let God lead. When the time is right he will invite you into them, all we need to do is be willing, and ask that he help us recognize his invitation.

Also, don't do this alone. Share what you are going through with a close trusted friend. It could be extremely helpful to get a spiritual director to help you in this, or even a therapist.

It's not the easiest thing to do, but it's worth it, and it will lead to transformation in Christ, and a new knowledge of his love.

Peace.