When God feels distant...

There are times when I feel like I am stumbling around, not sure of where I am going. Times when the road seems dark, when it seems hard and I'm cold and tired and feel all alone.

God seems distant, and there is a voice telling me that it's my fault... that I am not doing enough, or disciplined enough, or sinning too much... or just not good enough.

These dark foggy days are hard.

But I know I am not alone.

These times are when I remind myself of the darker Psalms, like Psalm 88... but the one I turn to more than any other is Psalm 77. 

The author starts by talking about how he feels that the LORD has abandoned him, and you get the feeling that he really feels this way, but then he starts to remember what God has done in the past: 

“Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” Selah Then I said, “I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High.” I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. (Psalm 77:7-11 ESV)

This is my prayer today. When I feel that God is distant, and wants nothing to do with me. 

ITS NOT TRUE!

But it's the way I feel and I will not try to run from it, instead I will look for God in the midst of this darkness, in the fog. God is here, and I believe God is close even if it doesn't feel that way. I will not pretend everything is wonderful, but I will put my hope in God and trust in him, trust that he will not let me get lost in despair.

Peace.